Stanley

STANLEY <br/>"Factory-installed security system. Optional volume control not included."<br/><br/>Meet Stanley - a 2-3 year old Miniature Pinscher mix who weighs approximately "not much"... but firmly believes he is the Commander of the United States Armed Forces.<br/><br/>This dog has never once questioned his abilities.<br/><br/>Not once.<br/><br/>Need proof?<br/><br/>We recently took Stanley to the veterinarian where they attempted to take his temperature using one of those fancy digital thermometers that don't even touch the dog.<br/><br/>Stanley took this personally.<br/><br/>The thermometer was approximately two feet away when Stanley transformed into what can only be described as an angry piranha crossed with a caffeinated alligator.<br/><br/>CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP!<br/><br/>The vet and technician were laughing so hard they could barely continue. Stanley, meanwhile, was fully convinced he had just prevented an international incident.<br/><br/>The official recommendation?<br/><br/>"Please muzzle Stanley next time."<br/><br/>The unofficial diagnosis?<br/><br/>Classic Miniature Pinscher.<br/><br/>If you've owned one...<br/><br/>...you're already laughing.<br/><br/>Stanley also has another wonderfully ridiculous hobby.<br/><br/>He steals your clothes.<br/><br/>Not to destroy them.<br/><br/>Not to chew them.<br/><br/>He quietly carries your sweatshirt, sock, or t-shirt back to his bed because apparently sleeping next to something that smells like you is peak happiness.<br/><br/>It's equal parts adorable and slightly creepy.<br/><br/>Mostly adorable.<br/><br/>Then there's Stanley's security business.<br/><br/>Take him to a friend's house?<br/><br/>Congratulations.<br/><br/>It's now Stanley's house.<br/><br/>Anyone walking past the front yard will immediately be informed that they are being monitored by approximately 14 pounds of pure commitment.<br/><br/>Neighborhood watch?<br/><br/>Stanley invented neighborhood watch.<br/><br/>Chipmunks?<br/><br/>Suspicious.<br/><br/>Birds?<br/><br/>Highly suspicious.<br/><br/>Leaves blowing across the yard?<br/><br/>Under investigation.<br/><br/>Delivery drivers?<br/><br/>Don't even think about it.<br/><br/>Stanley firmly believes the yard should contain exactly three living things:<br/><br/>You.<br/><br/>Stanley.<br/><br/>And maybe another dog friend if Stanley approves the application.<br/><br/>His resume includes:<br/><br/> Neutered<br/> Up to date on shots<br/> Microchipped<br/> Professional Lap Dog<br/> Amateur Clothing Collector<br/> Certified Tiny Bodyguard<br/> President of the Backyard Wildlife Eviction Committee<br/><br/>Stanley loves people with his entire oversized heart. Once you're his person, congratulations-you now have a permanent escort.<br/><br/>Kitchen?<br/><br/>He's coming.<br/><br/>Living room?<br/><br/>Already there.<br/><br/>Bathroom?<br/><br/>He has no concept of privacy.<br/><br/>The only thing Stanley takes more seriously than protecting you...<br/><br/>...is loving you.<br/><br/>Because despite all the ferocious barking, dramatic alligator impressions, and wildlife management responsibilities, Stanley is, at his core, a tiny dog who simply wants to spend every possible second with his favorite human.<br/><br/>He'd do best in an adult home that understands his quirky little personality. Because food wasn't always guaranteed in his previous life, he prefers to enjoy his meals without interruption, and we think that's a perfectly reasonable request.<br/><br/>Stanley isn't looking for an owner.<br/><br/>He's looking for someone to protect.<br/><br/>Whether they asked for it or not.<br/><br/> "Warning: Stanley may be small enough to fit on your lap... but in his mind, he's protecting an entire nation."<br/><br/>**NOTE: Stanley is not special needs, but is special pricing as he came from animal control fully vetted and fixed**

STANLEY
"Factory-installed security system. Optional volume control not included."

Meet Stanley - a 2-3 year old Miniature Pinscher mix who weighs approximately "not much"... but firmly believes he is the Commander of the United States Armed Forces.

This dog has never once questioned his abilities.

Not once.

Need proof?

We recently took Stanley to the veterinarian where they attempted to take his temperature using one of those fancy digital thermometers that don't even touch the dog.

Stanley took this personally.

The thermometer was approximately two feet away when Stanley transformed into what can only be described as an angry piranha crossed with a caffeinated alligator.

CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP!

The vet and technician were laughing so hard they could barely continue. Stanley, meanwhile, was fully convinced he had just prevented an international incident.

The official recommendation?

"Please muzzle Stanley next time."

STANLEY
"Factory-installed security system. Optional volume control not included."

Meet Stanley - a 2-3 year old Miniature Pinscher mix who weighs approximately "not much"... but firmly believes he is the Commander of the United States Armed Forces.

This dog has never once questioned his abilities.

Not once.

Need proof?

We recently took Stanley to the veterinarian where they attempted to take his temperature using one of those fancy digital thermometers that don't even touch the dog.

Stanley took this personally.

The thermometer was approximately two feet away when Stanley transformed into what can only be described as an angry piranha crossed with a caffeinated alligator.

CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP!

The vet and technician were laughing so hard they could barely continue. Stanley, meanwhile, was fully convinced he had just prevented an international incident.

The official recommendation?

"Please muzzle Stanley next time."

The unofficial diagnosis?

Classic Miniature Pinscher.

If you've owned one...

...you're already laughing.

Stanley also has another wonderfully ridiculous hobby.

He steals your clothes.

Not to destroy them.

Not to chew them.

He quietly carries your sweatshirt, sock, or t-shirt back to his bed because apparently sleeping next t