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INMATE PROFILE: MARY ANN<br/><br/>AKA: Professional Attention Seeker • Certified Leaner • Retired Chicken Investigator<br/><br/>Hi. Yes, YOU. Stop scrolling. This is important.<br/><br/>I’m Mary Ann — about 11⁄2 years old, 68.2 lbs of pure love, and currently serving time in what the humans call doggie jail. My crimes? Allegedly being “too interested” in the neighbor’s chickens.<br/><br/>In my defense... they ran. I ran. It felt like a team activity.<br/><br/>BUT I HAVE CHANGED.<br/><br/>I am officially retiring from all chicken-related careers and seeking full-time employment as your shadow, cuddle provider, and personal hype dog.<br/><br/>✠̈ Here’s what I bring to the table:<br/><br/>Expert-level people lover (seriously... I adore everyone)<br/><br/>Professional leaner (personal space? never heard of it)<br/><br/>Big, goofy, happy personality<br/><br/>Dog-friendly and ready for a fun-loving home<br/><br/>68.2 lbs of “I will absolutely try to sit in your lap”<br/><br/>If you’re looking for a quiet, independent dog... keep scrolling.<br/><br/>If you want a full-body hug with a heartbeat, I’m your girl.<br/><br/>Adoption fee is sponsored and reduced to just $40!<br/><br/>Before I bust out of here, I’ll be:<br/><br/>✔ï ̧ Spayed<br/><br/>✔ï ̧ Given a full vet exam<br/><br/>✔ï ̧ Vaccinated (rabies + distemper/parvo)<br/><br/>✔ï ̧ Tested & dewormed<br/><br/>✔ï ̧ Microchipped<br/><br/>Basically... I’ll be 100% ready to go home and immediately take over your couch.<br/><br/>Call 256-362-5856 to schedule an appointment and come meet me!<br/><br/>Please come bail me out. I promise my only future investigations will involve snacks and belly rubs.

INMATE PROFILE: MARY ANN

AKA: Professional Attention Seeker • Certified Leaner • Retired Chicken Investigator

Hi. Yes, YOU. Stop scrolling. This is important.

I’m Mary Ann — about 11⁄2 years old, 68.2 lbs of pure love, and currently serving time in what the humans call doggie jail. My crimes? Allegedly being “too interested” in the neighbor’s chickens.

In my defense... they ran. I ran. It felt like a team activity.

BUT I HAVE CHANGED.

I am officially retiring from all chicken-related careers and seeking full-time employment as your shadow, cuddle provider, and personal hype dog.

✠̈ Here’s what I bring to the table:

Expert-level people lover (seriously... I adore everyone)

Professional leaner (personal space? never heard of it)

Big, goofy, happy personality

Dog-friendly and ready for a fun-loving home

68.2 lbs of “I will absolutely try to sit in your lap”

If you’re looking for a quiet, independent dog... kee

INMATE PROFILE: MARY ANN

AKA: Professional Attention Seeker • Certified Leaner • Retired Chicken Investigator

Hi. Yes, YOU. Stop scrolling. This is important.

I’m Mary Ann — about 11⁄2 years old, 68.2 lbs of pure love, and currently serving time in what the humans call doggie jail. My crimes? Allegedly being “too interested” in the neighbor’s chickens.

In my defense... they ran. I ran. It felt like a team activity.

BUT I HAVE CHANGED.

I am officially retiring from all chicken-related careers and seeking full-time employment as your shadow, cuddle provider, and personal hype dog.

✠̈ Here’s what I bring to the table:

Expert-level people lover (seriously... I adore everyone)

Professional leaner (personal space? never heard of it)

Big, goofy, happy personality

Dog-friendly and ready for a fun-loving home

68.2 lbs of “I will absolutely try to sit in your lap”

If you’re looking for a quiet, independent dog... keep scrolling.

If you want a full-body hug with a heartbeat, I’m your girl.

Adoption fee is sponsored and reduced to just $40!

Before I bust out of here, I’ll be:

✔ï ̧ Spayed

✔ï ̧ Given a full vet exam

✔ï ̧ Vaccinated (rabies + distemper/parvo)

✔ï ̧ Tested & dewormed

✔ï ̧ Microchipped

Basically.