Ethan

Howdy 🤠 I’m Ethan!<br/><br/>I’ve been told I’m a handsome 4-year-old Rottweiler, but personally I think I look like a retired linebacker who accidentally wandered into a family barbecue and decided to stay 😏<br/><br/>My checklist 📋<br/>✔️ Fully vetted<br/>✔️ Professional shadow<br/>✔️ Loyal to my people<br/>✔️ Accepting applications for best friend status immediately<br/>✔️ Good with dogs 🐾<br/><br/>I’m the kind of guy who loves HARD once I know you’re my person 💕 You feed me snacks 🤤 twice and suddenly I’m planning our future together. I bond deeply, protect my crew, and take my job as Household Supervisor very seriously 🫡<br/><br/>Now, full disclosure here… I’m not one of those “came out of the womb perfectly behaved” dogs 😌 Apparently humans enjoy things called “manners” and “training.” Weird concept, but I’m willing to hear you out 😒 I just need someone patient, consistent, and committed to helping me become a distinguished gentleman instead of a 95-pound emotional support wrecking ball.<br/><br/>I’m smart 🧠 eager to please, and honestly, half my bad decisions come from enthusiasm 😃 You say “sit,” I hear 👂 “launch body directly into your lap!”<br/><br/>A few notes from management 📢<br/>Cats are a no for me ❌ Absolutely not. Tiny fast creatures with attitudes are suspicious.<br/>I’d thrive with structure, routine, exercise, and someone confident enough to remind me that I am, in fact, not the CEO of the household 😒<br/><br/>In return, I’ll give you loyalty, laughs, unconditional love, and approximately zero personal space 💕<br/><br/>If you’re looking for a dog that’s already perfect, swipe left ↩️<br/><br/>But if you’re looking for a hilarious, devoted best friend who’s ready to learn and love his people with his whole giant blockhead, swipe right ↪️ because I’m your guy 🥹

Howdy 🤠 I’m Ethan!

I’ve been told I’m a handsome 4-year-old Rottweiler, but personally I think I look like a retired linebacker who accidentally wandered into a family barbecue and decided to stay 😏

My checklist 📋
✔️ Fully vetted
✔️ Professional shadow
✔️ Loyal to my people
✔️ Accepting applications for best friend status immediately
✔️ Good with dogs 🐾

I’m the kind of guy who loves HARD once I know you’re my person 💕 You feed me snacks 🤤 twice and suddenly I’m planning our future together. I bond deeply, protect my crew, and take my job as Household Supervisor very seriously 🫡

Now, full disclosure here… I’m not one of those “came out of the womb perfectly behaved” dogs 😌 Apparently humans enjoy things called “manners” and “training.” Weird concept, but I’m willing to hear you out 😒 I just need someone patient, consistent, and committed to helping me become a distinguished gentleman instead of a 95-pound emotional support wrecking ball.

I’m smart 🧠 ea

Howdy 🤠 I’m Ethan!

I’ve been told I’m a handsome 4-year-old Rottweiler, but personally I think I look like a retired linebacker who accidentally wandered into a family barbecue and decided to stay 😏

My checklist 📋
✔️ Fully vetted
✔️ Professional shadow
✔️ Loyal to my people
✔️ Accepting applications for best friend status immediately
✔️ Good with dogs 🐾

I’m the kind of guy who loves HARD once I know you’re my person 💕 You feed me snacks 🤤 twice and suddenly I’m planning our future together. I bond deeply, protect my crew, and take my job as Household Supervisor very seriously 🫡

Now, full disclosure here… I’m not one of those “came out of the womb perfectly behaved” dogs 😌 Apparently humans enjoy things called “manners” and “training.” Weird concept, but I’m willing to hear you out 😒 I just need someone patient, consistent, and committed to helping me become a distinguished gentleman instead of a 95-pound emotional support wrecking ball.

I’m smart 🧠 eager to please, and honestly, half my bad decisions come from enthusiasm 😃 You say “sit,” I hear 👂 “launch body directly into your lap!”

A few notes from management 📢
Cats are a no for me ❌ Absolutely not. Tiny fast creatures with attitudes are suspicious.
I’d thrive with structure, routine, exercise, and someone confident enough to remind me that I am, in fact, not the CEO of t