Gremlin

CRIMINAL PROFILE: GREMLIN <br/>Alias: Gremlin<br/>Former Alias: Stanley<br/>Breed: Miniature Pinscher mix<br/>Height: Approximately 14 inches of bad attitude<br/>Weight: Classified<br/>Known Associates: Birds, chipmunks, clothing, and anyone foolish enough to walk past the property<br/>Current Status: At large within the shelter<br/>Threat Level: Disproportionately confident<br/><br/>DO NOT LET THE SIZE FOOL YOU.<br/><br/>Gremlin is approximately the size of a loaf of bread and has somehow appointed himself Director of Homeland Security.<br/><br/>He has opinions.<br/><br/>He has surveillance capabilities.<br/><br/>He has an extremely active prey drive.<br/><br/>And he has absolutely no understanding of the concept of "none of your business."<br/><br/>A bird flies by?<br/><br/>GREMLIN HAS BEEN NOTIFIED.<br/><br/>Chipmunk enters the yard?<br/><br/>NATIONAL EMERGENCY.<br/><br/>Someone walks past the house?<br/><br/>SECURITY BREACH.<br/><br/>Someone approaches the veterinarian with a digital thermometer?<br/><br/>DEPLOY THE JAWS.<br/><br/>Yes.<br/><br/>We took Gremlin to the vet.<br/><br/>The vet attempted to take a digital reading without even touching him.<br/><br/>Gremlin responded as though she had arrived with a warrant.<br/><br/>He went from zero to FULL MIN-PIN in approximately 0.7 seconds, repeatedly snapping his jaws with the ferocity of a tiny alligator while looking remarkably like an irritated piranha.<br/><br/>The veterinarian and her assistant found the whole thing rather amusing.<br/><br/>They also requested that Gremlin wear a muzzle for future veterinary adventures.<br/><br/>We respect their professional opinion.<br/><br/><br/><br/>But here's where Gremlin gets interesting.<br/><br/>Because this little guy isn't all teeth and surveillance.<br/><br/>Gremlin is a people dog.<br/><br/>He LOVES his people.<br/><br/>He wants to be near you.<br/><br/>He will go anywhere with you.<br/><br/>He will happily steal your clothing, carry it to his bed, and carefully stash it there.<br/><br/>He does not eat it.<br/><br/>He simply wants a little piece of you nearby.<br/><br/>Honestly?<br/><br/>That's weirdly adorable.<br/><br/>Gremlin also likes other dogs, loves being with his humans and would very much like to be involved in whatever you're doing.<br/><br/>He just has a rather... enthusiastic interpretation of personal security.<br/><br/>So if you're looking for:<br/><br/> A travel companion<br/> A lap dog<br/> A personal alarm system<br/> A bird-deterrent system<br/> A chipmunk surveillance officer<br/> A clothing retrieval specialist<br/> A dog who will absolutely let you know when someone is approaching<br/> A miniature creature with the confidence of a 90-pound German Shepherd<br/><br/>Congratulations.<br/><br/>You've found Gremlin.<br/><br/>He is approximately 100% MinPin.<br/><br/>And approximately 0% interested in pretending otherwise.<br/><br/>Gremlin is looking for an adult home that understands that tiny dogs can have BIG personalities, and that his prey drive and protective nature need to be managed responsibly.<br/><br/>He'll need a family who appreciates his quirks, keeps him safely managed around small animals and wildlife, and understands that veterinary visits are apparently going to require a little tactical planning.<br/><br/>But underneath the theatrics?<br/><br/>There's a funny, affectionate little dog who wants his people, his bed, his clothing collection and a life where he gets to go places and be part of the action.<br/><br/>He doesn't need to be turned into somebody else's idea of a perfect little dog.<br/><br/>He needs someone who looks at Gremlin and says,<br/><br/>"Yep. You're completely ridiculous. Come on. You're coming home."<br/><br/> GREMLIN <br/><br/>Small dog.<br/>Large security operation.<br/>Extensive criminal record of being extremely dramatic.<br/><br/>Adoption subject to successful background check. Gremlin has already rejected several applicants.

CRIMINAL PROFILE: GREMLIN
Alias: Gremlin
Former Alias: Stanley
Breed: Miniature Pinscher mix
Height: Approximately 14 inches of bad attitude
Weight: Classified
Known Associates: Birds, chipmunks, clothing, and anyone foolish enough to walk past the property
Current Status: At large within the shelter
Threat Level: Disproportionately confident

DO NOT LET THE SIZE FOOL YOU.

Gremlin is approximately the size of a loaf of bread and has somehow appointed himself Director of Homeland Security.

He has opinions.

He has surveillance capabilities.

He has an extremely active prey drive.

And he has absolutely no understanding of the concept of "none of your business."

A bird flies by?

GREMLIN HAS BEEN NOTIFIED.

Chipmunk enters the yard?

NATIONAL EMERGENCY.

Someone walks past the house?

SECURITY BREACH.

Someone approaches the veterinarian with a digital thermometer?

DEPLOY THE JAWS

CRIMINAL PROFILE: GREMLIN
Alias: Gremlin
Former Alias: Stanley
Breed: Miniature Pinscher mix
Height: Approximately 14 inches of bad attitude
Weight: Classified
Known Associates: Birds, chipmunks, clothing, and anyone foolish enough to walk past the property
Current Status: At large within the shelter
Threat Level: Disproportionately confident

DO NOT LET THE SIZE FOOL YOU.

Gremlin is approximately the size of a loaf of bread and has somehow appointed himself Director of Homeland Security.

He has opinions.

He has surveillance capabilities.

He has an extremely active prey drive.

And he has absolutely no understanding of the concept of "none of your business."

A bird flies by?

GREMLIN HAS BEEN NOTIFIED.

Chipmunk enters the yard?

NATIONAL EMERGENCY.

Someone walks past the house?

SECURITY BREACH.

Someone approaches the veterinarian with a digital thermometer?

DEPLOY THE JAWS.

Yes.

We took Gremlin to the vet.

The vet attempted to take a digital reading without even touching him.

Gremlin responded as though she had arrived with a warrant.

He went from zero to FULL MIN-PIN in approximately 0.7 seconds, repeatedly snapping his jaws with the ferocity of a tiny alligator while looking remarkably like an irritated piranha.