Fossil

MEET FOSSIL<br/><br/>Yes, Fossil. She’s 16. We said what we said.<br/><br/>At approximately 16 years young and a whopping 7 pounds, Fossil is less “senior dog” and more historical artifact with late-night zoomies.<br/><br/>She was found wandering the streets of Texas in August, presumably after becoming separated from her original expedition team sometime during the Cretaceous Period. Somehow this tiny prehistoric creature made her way to Wisconsin, where she has recently learned two things:<br/><br/>1) People here put sweaters on dogs.<br/><br/>2) WINTER IS COMING.<br/><br/>Fossil has questions. About BOTH these things.<br/><br/> THE FOSSIL FACTS<br/><br/>Age: 16-ish. Carbon dating remains inconclusive.<br/><br/>Weight: 7 pounds. Approximately the weight of a rotisserie chicken, which Fossil would very much like to discuss.<br/><br/>Breed: Yorkie. Possibly part woolly mammoth. DNA pending.<br/><br/>Fostered in: Madison, Wisconsin<br/><br/>Activity level: Couch potato with occasional unexplained bursts of athleticism.<br/><br/>Yes, Fossil has late-night zoomies. Why? Nobody knows. At 2 p.m., she appears to have retired from life entirely. At 10:47 p.m.? THE ANCIENT ONE AWAKENS.<br/><br/> TEETH ARE OVERRATED<br/><br/>Fossil recently had 20+ teeth removed, because apparently she had been collecting them. Teeth are overrated, and it was time to downsize her collection anyway.<br/><br/>Despite being old enough to remember when Netflix mailed DVDs, Fossil is remarkably healthy. She needs daily cyclosporine eye drops, which cost approximately $60 per tube. Otherwise? She’s trucking right along. She eats twice a day, has an excellent appetite and believes roast beef is a basic human right.<br/><br/> PERSONALITY<br/><br/>When Fossil first arrived, she wanted to be attached to her human approximately 24 hours a day. Now she has discovered comfortable beds. This has changed everything. She is perfectly content to lounge around like a tiny retired heiress until someone offers to pick her up, at which point she would like to be held like a baby while you rub her tiny tummy.<br/><br/>Please understand that this is not a request. It is your new job.<br/><br/>At night, Fossil would like to sleep in bed with her person. And here's the interesting part: while housebreaking is still very much a work in progress, she can sleep through the night in bed without an accident. During the day, she will use pee pads when redirected. At 16, Fossil feels strongly that bathroom rules are merely suggestions. She would also like you to know that Amazon has LOVELY girly-pants to protect your floors. Like diapers, but washable, and fancy.<br/><br/> SOCIAL LIFE<br/><br/>Fossil loves men. Fossil loves women. Fossil is fine with cats, largely because she does not care that they exist. She does well with other small dogs and could live with a respectful larger dog, but she doesn't need a canine companion. She's been alive for 16 years. She is perfectly capable of entertaining herself.<br/><br/>Because she's only seven pounds, young children aren't the best fit. Older, gentle kids who understand that Fossil is a delicate antique should be fine.<br/><br/> SECURITY ALERT<br/><br/>Do not let the word “Fossil” fool you. This fossil moves. She has been known to scoot toward an open door, so her future family needs to keep an eye on entrances and exits. Imagine losing a 16-year-old, 7-pound Yorkie named Fossil because she made a break for it. The embarrassment alone would be overwhelming.<br/><br/> SKILLS & QUALIFICATIONS<br/><br/>Fossil:<br/><br/>• Responds to her name<br/>• Knows “sit”<br/>• Walks nicely on leash<br/>• Enjoys exploring a fenced yard<br/>• Is crate trained, although she will whine because management has been notified of her dissatisfaction<br/>• Rarely barks<br/>• Doesn't shed<br/>• Sleeps like a champion<br/>• Can apparently summon enough energy for midnight zoomies despite being roughly 112 in dog years<br/><br/> PERSONAL STYLE<br/><br/>Signature pattern: Fuchsia polka dots.<br/>Fashion aesthetic: Sweaters.<br/><br/>Fossil is from Texas and has recently been informed that Wisconsin has something called “winter.” She would like to know, what exactly is winter? And does it involve sweaters? Upon learning the answers are “terrible” and “absolutely,” Fossil has decided her retirement hobby will be crocheting. She apparently has a wardrobe to build. Sweaters. Hats. Possibly a tiny shawl for when she sits on the porch yelling at neighborhood children.<br/><br/> WALK-OUT SONG<br/><br/>“Take the Long Way Home” — Supertramp. Why? Because Fossil is old. She knows it. We know it. Supertramp knows it. No sense pretending she listens to Sabrina Carpenter.<br/><br/> THE BOTTOM LINE<br/><br/>Fossil isn't looking for someone to give her the first chapter of her story. She's looking for someone who understands that the last chapters matter just as much. She wants a warm bed. A soft sweater. A little roast beef. A tiny tummy rub. Someone who remembers her eye drops. Someone who won't care if potty training at age 16 remains more of an aspirational goal than an accomplishment. And, most importantly, someone willing to scoot over at bedtime because this seven-pound archaeological treasure fully intends to sleep with you.<br/><br/>Fossil may be ancient. She may be mostly toothless. She may require winter apparel. But underneath that tiny senior exterior is a hilarious, sweet little dog who still has some zoomies left in the tank.<br/><br/>Please consider adopting Fossil. Because carbon dating is expensive, and we'd really like to stop investigating exactly how old she is. <br/><br/>Albert's Dog Lounge is a specialty rescue focusing primarily on senior and special needs dogs.<br/><br/>Our process includes an approved application, reference checks, a homevisit, and then a meet and greet with the dog. Adoption fee is $350, ($600for a pair). Learn more about Albert's Dog Lounge, our mission, and adoption policies by visiting Albertsdoglounge.org.<br/><br/>Begin your application process by copying this link into your web browser: https://www.albertsdoglounge.org/apply<br/><br/>WI Dept. Of Agriculture License Number: 474085-DS<br/><br/>NOTE ABOUT AGING A DOG: Aging a dog, based on looking at them, is unreliable and usually inaccurate. We get to know each dog as an individual and will do our best to describe each of our dogs based on personality and their needs.<br/><br/>Puppy - Under 6 months<br/>Young Adult - 6 months to 2 years<br/>Adult - 2 years to 8 years<br/>Senior - 8 years to 12 years<br/>Golden Oldie - 12+ years

MEET FOSSIL

Yes, Fossil. She’s 16. We said what we said.

At approximately 16 years young and a whopping 7 pounds, Fossil is less “senior dog” and more historical artifact with late-night zoomies.

She was found wandering the streets of Texas in August, presumably after becoming separated from her original expedition team sometime during the Cretaceous Period. Somehow this tiny prehistoric creature made her way to Wisconsin, where she has recently learned two things:

1) People here put sweaters on dogs.

2) WINTER IS COMING.

Fossil has questions. About BOTH these things.

THE FOSSIL FACTS

Age: 16-ish. Carbon dating remains inconclusive.

Weight: 7 pounds. Approximately the weight of a rotisserie chicken, which Fossil would very much like to discuss.

Breed: Yorkie. Possibly part woolly mammoth. DNA pending.

Fostered in: Madison, Wisconsin

Activity level: Couch potato with occasional unexplained bursts of athleticism.
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MEET FOSSIL

Yes, Fossil. She’s 16. We said what we said.

At approximately 16 years young and a whopping 7 pounds, Fossil is less “senior dog” and more historical artifact with late-night zoomies.

She was found wandering the streets of Texas in August, presumably after becoming separated from her original expedition team sometime during the Cretaceous Period. Somehow this tiny prehistoric creature made her way to Wisconsin, where she has recently learned two things:

1) People here put sweaters on dogs.

2) WINTER IS COMING.

Fossil has questions. About BOTH these things.

THE FOSSIL FACTS

Age: 16-ish. Carbon dating remains inconclusive.

Weight: 7 pounds. Approximately the weight of a rotisserie chicken, which Fossil would very much like to discuss.

Breed: Yorkie. Possibly part woolly mammoth. DNA pending.

Fostered in: Madison, Wisconsin

Activity level: Couch potato with occasional unexplained bursts of athleticism.

Yes, Fossil has late-night zoomies. Why? Nobody knows. At 2 p.m., she appears to have retired from life entirely. At 10:47 p.m.? THE ANCIENT ONE AWAKENS.

TEETH ARE OVERRATED

Fossil recently had 20+ teeth removed, because apparently she had been collecting them. Teeth are overrated, and it was time to downsize her collection anyway.

Despite being old enough to remem