Fiona

🐾 FIONA — Queen. Menace. Lapdog. Legend.<br/>Chihuahua | Female | Adult | Available for Adoption (if you're worthy)<br/>Let's be honest. Fiona is not looking for a family. She is looking for staff.<br/>She thinks she's a Pit Bull but fits in a handbag. She judges you daily based on your appearance and has never once been wrong. She gets grumpy when she's had more than one shot of triple espresso. She will steal your soul with a single stare — and she knows it.<br/>She refuses to come inside when temperatures reach 60° and the sun is out. This is non-negotiable. You will wait.<br/>She takes treats well, but occasionally mistakes your fingers for an hors d'oeuvre, depending on which side of the bed she got up on that morning. We recommend offering snacks with the confidence of someone who has accepted the risks.<br/>She mostly keeps to herself — a small, judgmental presence in the corner — but on her schedule, she will appear, climb onto your lap, and hug you like you are the last warm thing on earth. You will not move. You will not breathe. You will be honored.<br/><br/>The fine print:<br/>Adults only. Children do not meet her standards.<br/>One, maybe two people. She is not running a social club.<br/>Quiet home. She has opinions about noise.<br/>Experienced with fearful dogs? Good. You'll need that.<br/>She can be an only dog. She may prefer to be an only dog.<br/>She will bite if pushed. She has warned you.<br/><br/>What you get in return: The most loyal, ridiculous, dramatic, soft little shadow you have ever loved. She will ruin you for every other dog.<br/>Serious inquiries only. Please include your qualifications, your patience level, and a brief statement on why you feel you deserve Fiona.

🐾 FIONA — Queen. Menace. Lapdog. Legend.
Chihuahua | Female | Adult | Available for Adoption (if you're worthy)
Let's be honest. Fiona is not looking for a family. She is looking for staff.
She thinks she's a Pit Bull but fits in a handbag. She judges you daily based on your appearance and has never once been wrong. She gets grumpy when she's had more than one shot of triple espresso. She will steal your soul with a single stare — and she knows it.
She refuses to come inside when temperatures reach 60° and the sun is out. This is non-negotiable. You will wait.
She takes treats well, but occasionally mistakes your fingers for an hors d'oeuvre, depending on which side of the bed she got up on that morning. We recommend offering snacks with the confidence of someone who has accepted the risks.
She mostly keeps to herself — a small, judgmental presence in the corner — but on her schedule, she will appear, climb onto your lap, and hug you like you are the last warm thing on earth. You will not move. You w

🐾 FIONA — Queen. Menace. Lapdog. Legend.
Chihuahua | Female | Adult | Available for Adoption (if you're worthy)
Let's be honest. Fiona is not looking for a family. She is looking for staff.
She thinks she's a Pit Bull but fits in a handbag. She judges you daily based on your appearance and has never once been wrong. She gets grumpy when she's had more than one shot of triple espresso. She will steal your soul with a single stare — and she knows it.
She refuses to come inside when temperatures reach 60° and the sun is out. This is non-negotiable. You will wait.
She takes treats well, but occasionally mistakes your fingers for an hors d'oeuvre, depending on which side of the bed she got up on that morning. We recommend offering snacks with the confidence of someone who has accepted the risks.
She mostly keeps to herself — a small, judgmental presence in the corner — but on her schedule, she will appear, climb onto your lap, and hug you like you are the last warm thing on earth. You will not move. You will not breathe. You will be honored.

The fine print:
Adults only. Children do not meet her standards.
One, maybe two people. She is not running a social club.
Quiet home. She has opinions about noise.
Experienced with fearful dogs? Good. You'll need that.
She can be an only dog. She may prefer to be an only dog.
She will bite if pushed. She has warned you.
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