Albus

ADOPT ALBUS: APPLICATIONS NOW OPEN TO THE 0.1% <br/><br/>We need to talk about Albus.<br/>Albus is tiny.<br/>Albus is adorable.<br/><br/>Albus looks like a washed-up rock star who just did a line of coke in the bathroom and is now ready to fight the sound guy.<br/><br/>And Albus hates people. <br/>Not all people, probably.<br/>Just approximately 99.9% of them.<br/><br/>Men? Suspicious.<br/><br/>Women? Also suspicious.<br/><br/>Children? Absolutely not.<br/><br/>Strangers? How dare you.<br/><br/>People who want to pet him immediately? Prepare to be judged and sentenced.<br/><br/>Dogs? <br/>Cats? <br/><br/>The funny thing is, underneath all 7 pounds of rage, questionable hair choices, and wildly misplaced confidence, there IS a little dog capable of loving someone.<br/><br/>He just isn't handing that shit out for free.<br/>Albus needs a patient person who doesn't expect instant affection. Someone who will give him space, respect his boundaries, let him decompress, and understand that earning his trust may take time.<br/><br/>He doesn't need someone who wants every dog to love them immediately.<br/><br/>He needs his person. And we KNOW that person is out there. Someone is going to look at this tiny, disgruntled gas-station-cigarette of a dog and think:<br/><br/>"Yep. That's my asshole." <br/><br/>Albus is soon to be neutered, microchipped, up to date on vaccines, and dog/cat friendly.<br/><br/>Is adopting him statistically a questionable decision? Perhaps. But if you think you might be part of the 0.1% of humanity Albus decides doesn't suck, we'd love to hear from you.<br/><br/>Please understand that submitting an application does not guarantee Albus will like you.

ADOPT ALBUS: APPLICATIONS NOW OPEN TO THE 0.1%

We need to talk about Albus.
Albus is tiny.
Albus is adorable.

Albus looks like a washed-up rock star who just did a line of coke in the bathroom and is now ready to fight the sound guy.

And Albus hates people.
Not all people, probably.
Just approximately 99.9% of them.

Men? Suspicious.

Women? Also suspicious.

Children? Absolutely not.

Strangers? How dare you.

People who want to pet him immediately? Prepare to be judged and sentenced.

Dogs?
Cats?

The funny thing is, underneath all 7 pounds of rage, questionable hair choices, and wildly misplaced confidence, there IS a little dog capable of loving someone.

He just isn't handing that shit out for free.
Albus needs a patient person who doesn't expect instant affection. Someone who will give him space, respect his boundaries, let him decompress, and understand that earning his trust may take time.

H

ADOPT ALBUS: APPLICATIONS NOW OPEN TO THE 0.1%

We need to talk about Albus.
Albus is tiny.
Albus is adorable.

Albus looks like a washed-up rock star who just did a line of coke in the bathroom and is now ready to fight the sound guy.

And Albus hates people.
Not all people, probably.
Just approximately 99.9% of them.

Men? Suspicious.

Women? Also suspicious.

Children? Absolutely not.

Strangers? How dare you.

People who want to pet him immediately? Prepare to be judged and sentenced.

Dogs?
Cats?

The funny thing is, underneath all 7 pounds of rage, questionable hair choices, and wildly misplaced confidence, there IS a little dog capable of loving someone.

He just isn't handing that shit out for free.
Albus needs a patient person who doesn't expect instant affection. Someone who will give him space, respect his boundaries, let him decompress, and understand that earning his trust may take time.

He doesn't need someone who wants every dog to love them immediately.

He needs his person. And we KNOW that person is out there. Someone is going to look at this tiny, disgruntled gas-station-cigarette of a dog and think:

"Yep. That's my asshole."

Albus is soon to be neutered, microchipped, up to date on vaccines, and dog/cat friendly.

Is adopting him statistica