Velcro

Meet Velcro: The Cat Equivalent of a Human Barnacle (case #13106)<br/><br/>Are you lonely?<br/>Do you enjoy personal space?<br/>Would you like to never experience either of those things again?<br/><br/>Then allow us to introduce Velcro, an 8-month-old Stage Five Clinger disguised as a kitten.<br/><br/>Velcro doesn't just want attention. He requires it with the urgency of a man defusing a bomb. This cat is emotionally attached to you faster than your tax return is attached to bad decisions. Sit down? He's in your lap. Stand up? He's on your ankle. Go to the bathroom? Congratulations, you now have a screaming furry life coach supervising your hygiene routine.<br/><br/>Scientists say cats are independent creatures. Velcro has reviewed that statement and filed a formal complaint.<br/><br/>This boy sticks to humans with:<br/>the grip strength of industrial-strength duct tape,<br/>the emotional commitment of a golden retriever in a cat costume,<br/>and the persistence of a telemarketer who knows you're home.<br/><br/>If affection were an Olympic sport, Velcro would not only win gold: he would climb onto the podium and scream until you held him.<br/><br/>He is:<br/>aggressively cuddly,<br/>loudly opinionated,<br/>professionally needy,<br/>and powered entirely by love and chaos.<br/><br/>Warning: adopting Velcro may result in:<br/>never peeing alone again,<br/>losing circulation in one arm because the baby is sleeping,<br/>emotional manipulation via tiny sad meows,<br/>and developing Stockholm syndrome for being screamed at affectionately.<br/><br/>Ideal home:<br/>Someone who understands that personal boundaries are merely suggestions and who has always dreamed of owning a furry, vibrating shadow with separation anxiety.<br/><br/>Velcro isn't just a cat.<br/>He's a lifestyle.<br/>A commitment.<br/>A wearable emotional support animal that did not ask for your consent.<br/><br/>Adopt Velcro today because this cat already assumes you belong to him. Please complete an adoption application:<br/><br/>https://www.hamilton.ca/home-neighbourhood/animals-pets/adopt-or-foster-pet/adoptions<br/><br/>Animal adoptions and viewing are by appointment only. This allows our Adoption Staff to spend quality time with each potential home to ensure the most successful matches are made between the animals and their new families.<br/><br/>*Please note: we only adopt within Ontario

Meet Velcro: The Cat Equivalent of a Human Barnacle (case #13106)

Are you lonely?
Do you enjoy personal space?
Would you like to never experience either of those things again?

Then allow us to introduce Velcro, an 8-month-old Stage Five Clinger disguised as a kitten.

Velcro doesn't just want attention. He requires it with the urgency of a man defusing a bomb. This cat is emotionally attached to you faster than your tax return is attached to bad decisions. Sit down? He's in your lap. Stand up? He's on your ankle. Go to the bathroom? Congratulations, you now have a screaming furry life coach supervising your hygiene routine.

Scientists say cats are independent creatures. Velcro has reviewed that statement and filed a formal complaint.

This boy sticks to humans with:
the grip strength of industrial-strength duct tape,
the emotional commitment of a golden retriever in a cat costume,
and the persistence of a telemarketer who knows you're home.

If affection

Meet Velcro: The Cat Equivalent of a Human Barnacle (case #13106)

Are you lonely?
Do you enjoy personal space?
Would you like to never experience either of those things again?

Then allow us to introduce Velcro, an 8-month-old Stage Five Clinger disguised as a kitten.

Velcro doesn't just want attention. He requires it with the urgency of a man defusing a bomb. This cat is emotionally attached to you faster than your tax return is attached to bad decisions. Sit down? He's in your lap. Stand up? He's on your ankle. Go to the bathroom? Congratulations, you now have a screaming furry life coach supervising your hygiene routine.

Scientists say cats are independent creatures. Velcro has reviewed that statement and filed a formal complaint.

This boy sticks to humans with:
the grip strength of industrial-strength duct tape,
the emotional commitment of a golden retriever in a cat costume,
and the persistence of a telemarketer who knows you're home.

If affection were an Olympic sport, Velcro would not only win gold: he would climb onto the podium and scream until you held him.

He is:
aggressively cuddly,
loudly opinionated,
professionally needy,
and powered entirely by love and chaos.

Warning: adopting Velcro may result in:
never peeing alone again,
losing circulation in one arm because the baby is sleeping,
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