Andy Bernard

Introducing Our Most Innovative (and Slightly Unhinged) Placement Program Yet<br/>Bring-Home-A-Brat-Cat<br/>aka: The Troublemaker Transfer Project<br/>Let’s be real—those of us in the wild world of rescue know this truth all too well: some cats who find their way to us are unlikely to ever leave. Not because they aren’t wonderful, but because they come with quirks, habits, or challenges that make traditional adoption… complicated.<br/>At Crash’s, we’ve embraced that reality and created spaces where those cats can live safely, comfortably, and on their own terms.<br/>Our Current CATegories<br/>🐾 Purrmanent Residents<br/>These cats are not available for foster or adoption due to long-standing behavioral issues that have proven refractory to intervention. That said, they are incredibly sweet and otherwise perfect, so they’ve earned the right to live out their days with us.<br/>The Terrific Trifecta—Fawn Moscato, Kissy, Scuttle and Whopper Jr.—all struggle with litter box issues and are beloved members of our household.<br/>🐾 Medically or Socially Complex Crew<br/>We also have several stunning cats whose medical or behavioral needs make adoption unsafe or unrealistic. These cats require daily medications, frequent vet visits, or advanced monitoring—or simply have zero interest in human companionship:<br/>• Polly, Virginia (last of the Claws clowder), Babbo Natale, Rhys, and Rosario - semi-feral, human-skeptical, and thriving in their comfy, human-free bubble<br/>________________________________________<br/>Enter: The Frustrating Felines<br/>These cats are few and far between (thankfully), but they’ve made it clear that our free-roaming shelter environment is not their ideal living situation. We genuinely believe that, placed individually in homes designed specifically around their emotional needs, these cats will finally be able to relax, decompress, and reach their full potential.<br/>To make this happen, we’re offering something wildly unconventional:<br/>✨ No adoption fee<br/>✨ No money down<br/>✨ No cash exchanged (er… paws)<br/>✨ In fact—we should probably pay you<br/>All veterinary care will be covered at Feline Wellness Center for two years post-adoption, and all cats will be fully vetted before packing their bags.<br/>________________________________________<br/>Meet Andy Bernard<br/>Our resident a-hole.<br/>With us since 8/31/20.<br/>• He’s a “good” boy—when he’s not overwhelmed, which is a tall order in a busy shelter<br/>• Terrified of dogs; absolutely not kid-friendly<br/>• A vet visit nightmare (spoken from repeated, first-hand trauma) and requires sedation for even basic care<br/>• Has zero interest in adoption and will not participate in such nonsense<br/>• Sleeps through most visits, throws impressive shade when disturbed, and is generally disliked by other cats—for reasons that are… understandable<br/>• Cute. Stumpy tail. Undeniable charm.<br/>• Loves wand toys, catnip, rolling around dramatically, and doing absolutely nothing<br/>• Currently medicated (shoutout to Gabapentin) to remain at least moderately tolerable<br/>Andy is not a cuddler. He craves peace, quiet, and autonomy. He will occasionally entertain you—if the mood strikes. And honestly? That’s what he’s got to offer.<br/>________________________________________<br/>So…<br/>If you haven’t run away yet…<br/>If you’re a glutton for punishment…<br/>If you root for the anti-hero, enjoy a challenge, or feel like throwing caution to the wind with an intriguing and unconventional cat—<br/>Let us know.<br/>Who are we to judge? 😏<br/>________________________________________

Introducing Our Most Innovative (and Slightly Unhinged) Placement Program Yet
Bring-Home-A-Brat-Cat
aka: The Troublemaker Transfer Project
Let’s be real—those of us in the wild world of rescue know this truth all too well: some cats who find their way to us are unlikely to ever leave. Not because they aren’t wonderful, but because they come with quirks, habits, or challenges that make traditional adoption… complicated.
At Crash’s, we’ve embraced that reality and created spaces where those cats can live safely, comfortably, and on their own terms.
Our Current CATegories
🐾 Purrmanent Residents
These cats are not available for foster or adoption due to long-standing behavioral issues that have proven refractory to intervention. That said, they are incredibly sweet and otherwise perfect, so they’ve earned the right to live out their days with us.
The Terrific Trifecta—Fawn Moscato, Kissy, Scuttle and Whopper Jr.—all struggle with litter box issues and are beloved members of our household.
🐾

Introducing Our Most Innovative (and Slightly Unhinged) Placement Program Yet
Bring-Home-A-Brat-Cat
aka: The Troublemaker Transfer Project
Let’s be real—those of us in the wild world of rescue know this truth all too well: some cats who find their way to us are unlikely to ever leave. Not because they aren’t wonderful, but because they come with quirks, habits, or challenges that make traditional adoption… complicated.
At Crash’s, we’ve embraced that reality and created spaces where those cats can live safely, comfortably, and on their own terms.
Our Current CATegories
🐾 Purrmanent Residents
These cats are not available for foster or adoption due to long-standing behavioral issues that have proven refractory to intervention. That said, they are incredibly sweet and otherwise perfect, so they’ve earned the right to live out their days with us.
The Terrific Trifecta—Fawn Moscato, Kissy, Scuttle and Whopper Jr.—all struggle with litter box issues and are beloved members of our household.
🐾 Medically or Socially Complex Crew
We also have several stunning cats whose medical or behavioral needs make adoption unsafe or unrealistic. These cats require daily medications, frequent vet visits, or advanced monitoring—or simply have zero interest in human companionship:
• Polly, Virginia (last of the Claws clowder), Babbo Natale, Rhys, and Rosario - semi-feral, human-skeptical, and th