The Notorious L.A.P., the gentle, oddly affectionate feline paperweight (you're the paper!) Domestic Short Hair Gardiner, NY

Perfect for someone who wants both serious lap-cat company (and who enjoys giving rubs to a soft belly of fur) and to adopt a kitty who may not otherwise ever find a loving home, Notorious L.A.P. has one main claim to fame. Please read about him below and, if interested in a trial adoption, send in your answers to the questions asked below (send them in the body of an email addressed to philoctete@mailbug.com, please) - everyone who answers the questions will receive a prompt reply! Thank you so much for your time.

Why do I say he's ODDLY affectionate? A few reasons. He comes from the same nightmare situation as so many of the cats I've been rescuing/fostering lately - a house of over 50 cats (outdoor, principally) under the scattered, battered "care" of a person with senile dementia who never gives them vet care (or even names!), never knows who/where they are, seldom remembers to feed them, doesn't interact with them physically, is there in the vicinity but...."not there". So it really is odd that all of the ones I've found homes for so far are astonishingly resilient, not only non-feral people-oriented housecats, actually, but stalwart lap-cats who are usually interested in very little in life (not super-motivated by food or play) other than getting attention, physical contact, lots and lots of pettings as though they'd been starving for pettings and laps on their lives. It's odd that they feel that way, having known only one person, and odd (cats being the different individuals they are) that so far they all are like that in close to the same way(s). And, in the case of L.A.P., his affectionate is just rather ODD - not super-demonstrative but very evident (have I mentioned the drool yet?).

Once he feels comfortable with you (even a bit before that), he loves to roll onto his side and give your hand petting access to his entire snow white/stripey underbelly - you do the stroking and his arms will do the "rowing" as he kneads his paws in and out in ecstasy. He's not likely to ever get over a certain skittishness, but if you love-love the thought of a kitty you can take up in your arms under your chin and rock and sway and plant kisses on as much as you want (his body and especially cheeks and top-of-head), L.A.P. has got your number. Go on, SQUEEZE him! He's got a soft purr and no voice that I've heard. You'll need to scruff him to pull him onto your lap, but once he's there, he has this very pointed way of trying to make himself heavy - it makes me think of a paperweight who doesn't want his paper to ever get away. Even as you scruff him, he darts his back up into your hand in happy anticipation of your petting him, and he meltingly leans his head sideways into your hand as you pet his face. When you stroke the fur on his back, he has this funny winning way of turning his head around, looking squinty-eyed over each shoulder in turn again and again, to make sure you're still petting him and aren't intending to stdop!

Much as he loves channelling paperweights, he's also fond of times when you lift him into a semi-standing position on your lap so that you can give his tummy belly-rubs like that, too - you will absolutely enjoy it yourself as well because his belly fur is so soft and his little torso so firm and lean, a pleasure to hold and stroke and feel against your hand. He's not ridiculously drooly, but just maybe don't wear your neatest clothes when you plan to be the paper trapped under him - you'll get a LITTLE damp.

Sometimes also known as Downing, he resembles physically though not in confidence the famous Larry, who has lived with 5 heads of governments (Prime Ministers) at England's Prime Minister's residence, 10 Downing Street! Look Larry up on YouTube and let me know what you think - I definitely see a resemblance!

If interested in trying a trial adoption of Notorious L.A.P. in your home, please write in with your answers to the questions below. If we think that based on the answers he and you sound like a good match, we will ask to exchange references and to arrange a time/day for him to come to your home. Everyone who answers the questions is guaranteed to receive a prompt reply! Thanks!

1. What diet/nutrition would you feed him? Please be specific about what brands of dry food (if any) you would feed him, what brands of canned food (if any) you would feed him, and what brands of raw food (if any) you would feed him, providing the approximate ratio of dry to wet (canned or raw/homemade) food you would offer. If you would let him graze overnight or during the day, please mention that too. Thanks!

2. What are your views, pro or con, in declawing?

3. What are your views, pro or con, on neutering/spaying?

4. Under what circumstances, if any, would you consider parting with him? (We are 100% no-kill and would ask to take him back if for any reason at any time you no longer had him in your family/household.)

5. Would he be indoor only, outdoor only, or a mixture of the two?

6. What kind of water and what type/brand of cat litter would you offer him?

7. What kind of domicile would you share with him (rented apartment, trailer, owned house, rented house, dorm, yurt, etc.) and what other humans and non-humans would live there with you and him?

8. It can be really helpful in determining a good match for us to know something about you - particularly interests/hobbies/leisure pursuits and your source of income (such as job or profession), since cat care can sometimes be expensive. You can also add details, if you wish, such as your previous experiences caregiving for cats, dog-sitting, volunteering; your age; and so forth.

9. If there's anything about him in his looks or his description that appeals to you, "speaking to you", please let us know what it is!