|
Animal-Human Relationships
- 1. "Ask Dr. LaFarge (ASPCA Animal Watch, Summer 2004)"
- 2. "Ask Dr. LaFarge (ASPCA Animal Watch, Spring 2004)"
Ask Dr. LaFarge (ASPCA Animal Watch - Spring 2003)
Stephanie LaFarge, Ph.D., ASPCA Sr. Director Animal Sciences
A psychologist answers human/animal relationship questions.
I am single and have no children. When my friends tell funny stories about their kids, I want to chime in with anecdotes about my two adorable kittens. It feels the same to me, but I am afraid my friends will think I'm nuts. Maybe they'll even feel sorry for me, and I sure don't want that. -Mary B.
You can help your friends share in the delight your kittens afford you. Start the conversation with a comment that shows you can appreciate their children's antics, even though you are not a mother yourself. Continue, without hesitation, to tell a cute kitten story. Then bridge the gap between child and pet by suggesting that your friends bring their kids to your home to enjoy the kittens in person.
My 10-year-old daughter loves animals and, more than anything else in the world, wants a dog. Her father says no. So, I got a rabbit to appease her. It didn't work. She's good to this silly rabbit, but I know she's heartbroken. Her dad never changes his mind on certain things, even when he's wrong. Can I help her? -Susan
Luckily, your animal-loving daughter has the rest of her life to acquire a variety of animals of her own choosing, including dogs. For now you can help her learn more about the animal she has in her home. Rabbits are capable of learning more than you think. There are many good books and rabbit organizations - such as the House Rabbit Society (www.rabbit.org) - that supply information. Make a commitment to help your daughter teach the rabbit a new 'trick' each month. Her father might even be willing to join in to achieve such a goal. When he sees her behaving so responsibly, he may indeed change his mind about the dog.
Our beloved family cat, Meeko, is terminally ill. Yet, my sister won't allow our vet to euthanize the cat. I tried to get the vet to make the decision for us, but he said he couldn't. The problem is that our mother died very slowly last year. My sister kept accusing me of wanting to 'pull the plug'; I just didn't want to see her suffer any longer. Now she doesn't trust me. I am afraid the cat will die a terrible death because we can't work together on this. -Sheryl
Your determination to prevent Meeko from suffering is admirable. Providing a painless death is the last gift we can give a companion animal that has served our needs so faithfully. Every loss of an important relationship resonates with those losses that have gone before. It is normal that the issues related to your mother's death have resurfaced. I suggest you make it clear to your sister that you will not let Meeko suffer, but that you would like to arrange Meeko's death so that everyone gets to say goodbye. If there are young people involved, invite them to participate in planning what to do with her body and perhaps a memorial event. Your own experience of grief will be greatly eased if you have no regrets regarding your management of this phase of Meeko's life.
We just moved from the city to a country house with five acres of woodlands. I think our two energetic five-year-old golden retrievers, Dodger and Yankee, deserve a chance to live the life of normal dogs: running loose, exploring the woods, even getting the chance to kill a squirrel or two. Unfortunately, my wife is afraid they will be hurt, killed or stolen. She insists we walk them on a leash. We both have very strong feelings about this issue. What can we do? -George R.
Both you and your wife clearly care for these dogs and want the highest-quality life for them. Hire an animal behaviorist or local dog trainer who is familiar with the risks in your area. He or she can help negotiate a compromise with your wife regarding the appropriate degree of freedom for the dogs. Some kind of fencing will reassure your wife when the dogs are outside alone. Good off-leash obedience training will keep the dogs under control, even when they are out of sight. Certainly, both dogs should be neutered, micro-chipped and licensed to maximize their safety. If you proceed with understanding, you and your wife can find common ground. Watching your city dogs thrive in the country will be a wonderful reward for your patience.
Dr. Stephanie LaFarge is a psychologist and the director of Counseling Services at the ASPCA. E-mail your questions to stephaniel@aspca.org.
© 2003 ASPCA
ASPCA Animal Watch - Spring 2003
Courtesy of
ASPCA
424 East 92nd St.
New York, NY 10128-6804
(212) 876-7700
www.aspca.org
