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Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2008 10:21 am Post subject: An etiquette question and poll

Let's say you receive an invitation to a party. You get this invitation about 4 weeks in advance of the day of the party. The invitation plainly states that you should RSVP by a certain date. My question is about the RSVP. Doesn't RSVP mean that you should answer yes or no, not, "I don't know yet," or "I'll have to play it by ear." Those are not really answers to the original invitation. The reason for the RSVP is so the host/hostess can have the appropriate amount of refreshments available for everyone. Isn't is still considered good manners to respond in a timely fashion (don't get me started on the folks I had to follow-up on)?

Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2008 10:50 am Post subject:

I agree with you that it should be a yes or no answer. I try to be timely in getting an answer back. On the other hand I've also gotten invitations for RSVP after the date to respond by in the mail. Although for those, those are usually friends who live back in Ohio (I'm in NC) and they don't expect me to be able to come in the first place. I've gotten two like that and I truly believe that they were more of an announcement in sending to me than a true invitation because of how far away I live.

Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2008 11:25 am Post subject:

I voted that people should respond yes or no by the date given. I just threw my daughter a bridal shower. I invited 85 women...gave them four weeks to reply and I still had to call 37 of them to see if they were coming and all but six of them were. In my opinion, it was terribly rude of them not to respond.

The wedding invitations just went out and I have a feeling I will be calling the same people again to see what their plans are. I will be out a lot more money per person if they blow off the wedding than if they did that at the shower!!

So....in closing....people who do not respond are RUDE!!!

Thanks for letting me vent on your thread, anntwocats! Laughing

Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2008 11:50 am Post subject:

You're welcome, Smokey.

I'm glad to hear that other folks agree with what I thought was proper in responding to an invitation. I was beginning to think that there was a new trend that I was unaware of.

I think the folks I invited probably consider my party more of a casual get together because they don't know how many others I have invited. So I guess they didn't feel it necessary to give me a firm answer. Bad people.

Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2008 12:11 pm Post subject:

Gwen will be 3 this summer, and I KNOW I will be calling everyone to follow up. It seems NO ONE feels the need to RSVP these days, and it is bull@)*$ I need to order a cake, plan food, goodie bags, I need to know how many people are coming.

It is extremely inconsiderate and yet it happens to me every year!

Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2008 12:13 pm Post subject:

I always R.S.V.P. as soon as I get the invite so I don't forget. If I don't intend to go I call to say I'm sorry. I recently had to throw my own baby showers (2 because our whole family wouldn't fit in our house) at the first one we had people R.S.V.P. and not show up. We had way too much food. At the second one we had 10 people show up without an R.S.V.P. We didn't run out of food thnk god but we came real close. I was so stressed. It's so RUDE.

Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2008 12:28 pm Post subject:

I just RSVPed this weekend for a baby shower-- I had to say no cause it is in Alberta, I was invited cause I am her best friend from highschool. What was cool was that it was a facebook invite-- so I just clicked my RSVP-- they set up a facebook account for her babyshower--

Oh, I guess I should send a gift though eh? Just thought of that, I'll do my usual and send a book or a gift card for a bookstore, I like to encourage young readers at baby showers…

Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2008 1:22 pm Post subject:

It's funny because when I saw this poll I immediately thought of evites (I haven't received a printed invitation in a long time) and didn't think that "maybe" wasn't a traditional option until I read some of the posts from other members. It is an option on evite.com.

Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2008 3:10 pm Post subject:

I have to disagree with evite. I don't think "maybe" is any answer at all. If the head count is necessary, then how would a response of maybe help. Evite is just catering to the people that don't want to make a decision. Bad evite.

Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2008 4:16 pm Post subject:

Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2008 5:30 pm Post subject:

Back in IL it meant let me know either way.

Here in the part of KY I am in it simply means... give me a call if your coming.

Strange how things are different for different places.

Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2008 6:10 pm Post subject:

When my daughter had her birthday party, it was fortunate that the non-RSVPers who showed were about the same number of the RSVPers who didn't show.

Guess not enough people speak French. Répondez s'il vous plaît means "please respond" not "regrets only"! Rolling Eyes

Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2008 7:00 pm Post subject:

RSVP means Respondez sil vous plait in French. which translates into English as "Please respond". IMO, its simply RUDE to not respond. yes, no, maybe, just respond.

for weddings, the parents pay for plates. If you dont respond, they have to pay for a plate that will never be eaten. and they're NOT cheap.

or if they dont, THEY wont eat at the reception. what ever happened to GENERAL courtesy as a part of life?

sil vous plait means "please". doesnt seem too hard to me...
it translates as "if you please"

Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2008 7:25 pm Post subject:

When hubby and I got married we just sent out invites and did not ask for RSVP as it was going to be small to begin with. We did have it catered to the church and had to give an idea of the number of people we expected. I think we told them around 30 and we ended up with 25 total. A few more at the wedding it's self as two of hubby's long time friends came to the wedding, but couldn't stay for the reception. My family had to deal with just having a secondary reception several months later. We got married in NC where hubby's family is and my family is in Ohio. We had more of a picnic type reception with sandwich plates, fruit and veggie plates and fried chicken and pizza. That was well if there's too much food we have left overs for a couple of days, if not enough food someone can easily run to the grocery store and pick up another sandwich or fruit and veggie tray. Ended up with some left overs.

Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2008 7:51 pm Post subject:

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