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Posted: Sat Dec 31, 2005 9:27 am Post subject:

Well good for you Teako. Happy New Years to you. Very Happy

Posted: Sat Dec 31, 2005 10:59 am Post subject:

((((((((((hugs))))))))))

Posted: Sat Dec 31, 2005 11:33 am Post subject:

i am sorry to read that your have to deal with all this at only 15. i think that you should do what ever makes you happy and if that means staying with your dad then go for it. i hope that thing get better for you and good luck.

Posted: Sat Dec 31, 2005 12:00 pm Post subject:

glad to hear you are okay and it sound like you made the
right decision !! also sounds like your mom did not blow up
when you told her you were staying....i'm glad.

the way you described the way you feel at your dads house IS
exactly the way you should feel and so i am glad you are starting
off this new year surrounded by love as you so deserve !!

happy new year teako !!! Very Happy

Posted: Sat Dec 31, 2005 1:07 pm Post subject:

Thanks, everyone, Happy New Years to you too! ^__^

I could not remember what day it was, TBH. Embarassed

When everyone was saying 'Happy New Years' I thought they meant it was the first, and I was like, 'Oh, shoot! I missed the new year!' and then I checked my calender and saw that it was the 31, so I'm ok! Embarassed

Posted: Sat Dec 31, 2005 2:21 pm Post subject:

you need to do what's best for YOU, and not for anyone else in the family. You can still have a relationship with both parents. When and how often do you see the non custodial parents (ie every other weekend?)

My stepcousin was a part of a joint custody agreement from when she was about 3 until last year (she'll be 12 in June). She would spend weekdays (school year, and go to school there) with her father and weekends (school year) with her mother. The sides were flipped in the summer. Things worked out fine until her father remarried. Her stepmother has triplets her age, and a baby with her father. My stepcousin felt like a Cinderella around her stepmother. She's always been a shy kid, and just last school year she spoke up to my grandmother, and eventually she talked to my aunt and uncle, (she was too shy to tell her parents) and they got the custody agreement changed. She now sees her dad every other weekend. I saw her for the first time since the agreement was changed just this week, and she's much happier than I have ever seen her. For the first time, she is not always not there on the weekends, and dosent go to a different school every year. She's joining all the extracirriculars that her stepmother would never let her do, and she's making friends. All stuff like that is important in a child's life.

Teako, I know I sort of went off on a tangent, but this was an example of doing what makes YOU happy, not your mom, dad, or brother.

And if you want to mend ways with your mother, I would suggest staying with your father and slowly trying to make things up with your mother. Like spend an afternoon together, etc.

Good luck and keep us updated. PM me if you need to talk

Caroline

Posted: Sat Dec 31, 2005 2:31 pm Post subject:

{{{Teako!}}}

Good choice, that's what I was going to suggest.

I think that if you stay at your Dad's, you'll all feel a lot better. Plus, that's kind of 'leverage' to keep your mom in counseling. If you feel like it, in private, tell the counselor what she usually does with these appointments so you can all keep on and actually solve something.

I'm glad you're such a grounded person. Smile

Posted: Mon Jan 02, 2006 12:50 am Post subject:

I think that you would be much happier living with your wonderful father forever.
I am especially impressed that you haven't been depressed since you have been with your dad. That says it all right there.
Maybe in the future someday you and your mom will work it out.
I am sure you will do right thing for YOU. Sometimes you need to think about yourself my friend.
Take care.

Posted: Mon Jan 02, 2006 1:29 am Post subject:

WOW!

How many 15 year old children can express theirself so well and with so much maturity.

I'd imagine that is the biggest problem between you and your mother.. just guessing here, but is your mother threatened by your intelligence and capabilities?

You do what is right for you and keep your level head. We're all here to support you and be here for you whatever happens. You are an exception to the rule and you have helped me in making what could have been drastic decisions more than you'll ever know.

Posted: Mon Jan 02, 2006 10:24 am Post subject:

I think that you have a better chance of redeveloping the relationship with your mother if you live with your father.

Many people who live together (parent/child, spouses, roommates, etc) often have fights over living issues, and you're more likely to fight wiht her that way.

Do what's best for YOU and live with your father

Posted: Mon Jan 02, 2006 11:16 am Post subject:

Glad to hear that you made a decison that you're happy with. Good luck with everything else.

Posted: Mon Jan 02, 2006 2:28 pm Post subject:

Teako - I just want to say that I am so impressed with your maturity and decision-making skills. It sounds like you followed your heart, regardless of what people on pf told you to do. From now on, follow your heart and instincts ... you are beyond your years and only you know what will make you happiest.

May you have an absolutely WONDERFUL new year, Teako!

Lori

Posted: Mon Jan 02, 2006 10:56 pm Post subject:

Thank you everyone for the support. I am sorry I have taken so long to respond.

Caroline- I do every other week, so there is an even amount of time with each parent. At least, this *was* the set-up. I haven't been to my moms in few weeks.

Trace- I do not think that my mom sees any outstanding intelligence or capabilities in me. Ironically, she makes a point to remind me quite often that I am nothing but an immature, selfish, lazy, teen. She tells me all the time how very immature I am. Maybe deep down she feels something else towards me, but she makes a point to make me feel inferior to her.

Thank you everyone for the opinions and support. I am sorry I did not respond to each of you individually, but I really do appreciate each of your opinions.

Posted: Mon Jan 02, 2006 11:05 pm Post subject:

Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2006 12:52 am Post subject:

(((Hugs))) TEAKO! I have a better solution! pack your things, and teako and come live with me Razz

.

Now being serious! I think you should stay with your day. I've noticed you talk alot about your mom and it never seems happy. She seems more interested in having her own life and her boyfriends (or is there only one? bad memory sorries!). My dad made his decision along time ago and replaced me with a 2 year old daughter and a fat wife (no offense to anyone I am not skinny but I hate her). His wife is a back stabbing bitch who tells everything I tell her in "confidence" to my dad. My dad thinks he is super-dad with lecturing powers of doom. My whole family responds to my ideas with a nice "oh how nice for you" attitude. Told them I was going to be an animal control officer.... response? "thats depressing, why would you want to kill animals if you like them so much?" GOD I love my supporting happy family... Rolling Eyes

I think you should come visit me! lol, I will be getting my license in 6 months and I will come visit you and teako in FL. I hope everything works out for the best. PM me if you need to talk!

((hugs))

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