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Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2012 10:23 am Post subject: Need helpful suggestions

New here, and looking for some helpful suggestions.

We have two male American Bulldogs, and while we love them dearly, they have taken a backseat to the arrival of our first child. My wife was diagnosed with severe postpartum depression a few weeks after delivery. It was so bad that she literally couldn't function and had major disconnect with our newborn (still struggles with both). To make things worse, our baby is colicky. I am a construction coordinator, working long hours (starting early and ending late), and am not home much to help my wife. But when I do get home, the first thing I do is take the baby to give her a break, something that is long overdue by that time. Unfortunately, this is around the time when we take the dogs out for a brisk walk but has been replaced with me tending to the baby, and my wife regaining some sanity. Now, our oldest dog has been displaying some unfavourable behaviours. One of which is fighting with the younger dog -- one incident where blood was drawn. They are both neutered and have always got along well. The younger dog remains friendly and playful, even acknowledging this stressful time that we're going through, and wanting to comfort my wife and the baby, by laying snuggled up beside them. When I can breakaway for a short period, I will run both dogs out at the dog park for awhile, but otherwise, my primary focus is on the wife and baby. We're both just so physically and mentally exhausted right now, we're really having a tough time. I know he's just reacting to the change of pace in the household and lack of playtime/walks but meanwhile, any helpful suggestions on how to handle this?

Thanks.

Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2012 10:41 am Post subject:

You sure do have your hands full!

Keep up with the walking/running as much as possible.

You may want to add in:

Training time, sit, stay, an so on, more for adoration and one on one time. Even five minutes of your undivided attention will make a difference, the more praise for good behavior the better. Training also helps stabilize the pack and mind.

Dogs find chewing very relaxing, be it a Kong or a bone. It may help lower the over all stress level which I am sure the entire house is reacting to. Since the dogs are having a few issues I would only offer this as an option if they can be separated.

Sing, of course I say that and chuckle a little as I am sure it is the last thing you feel like doing. But if you are daring enough, sing... It could change the vibe of the household to a more positive, less stressful place to be.

This must be a very difficult time for you and your family, I wish you all the best. I hope other PFs post with additional suggestions.

Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2012 10:51 am Post subject:

My first thought is get a dog walker. And even though that is for the dogs well being, to get exercise etc, it may also be good for your wife. Who knows, maybe the dog walker will end up being someone that would spend an extra few minutes visiting with your wife, or even become a friend.

It gets the dogs out of the house, and if timed right may allow your wife a quick nap.

Good luck, and congratulations.

Posted: Thu Aug 02, 2012 5:26 pm Post subject:

Great suggestions from Buter&Lola and Tanya!! I am so sorry your wife and you are going thru such a difficult time....the dogs definately feel the change and the stress. Your wife must be totally overwhelmed. I like the idea of a Pet Sitter/Dog Walker during the day. ABD's need much exercise and attention....the change in their lives must be hard on them too. They need to get out, and exercised...this will give your wife break from them, and hopefully give her some bonding time with your infant. Distraction for the dogs, and intimate time for your wife....You are a great hubby for seeking help!! I hope some of the suggestions help!

Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2012 11:51 am Post subject:

OK - I'll second the dog walker or doggy day care. You may be able to find a local teen willing to walk the dogs for you.

Another serious suggestion - trust me I've been there done that. Nothing is as bad as your first child being colicky. My mother raised 7 kids and when my oldest was born she was stunned that he could wear out me, my husband, her & my dad each day. They would come over every evening & help - and all 4 of us were worn out. By the time my youngest was born I had learned the colic cure. It works.

Find something that stops him. With mine it was the sound of the hairdryer. As soon as the hairdryer came on he shut up. Since there are dangers to letting the hairdryer run for hours we taped it. You can use a normal cassette tape player or a digital one. Tape the sound & play it whenever he gets fussy. Hearing the sound 24/7 can get to you but not nearly as much as a crying baby. Post partum depression or not - mom will feel terrible if all the kiddo does is cry/scream.

(If the hairdryer is not the right sound try vacuum cleaner or clothes dryer.)

Posted Fri Aug 03, 2012 12:53 pm:

If the baby does not cry as much - mom is not as worn out. She may enjoy taking the dogs for a walk when you get home. If the tape works you can change, relax, etc while the baby chills out & mom & dogs get some outside time. The exercise will help with the PPD as well.

Posted: Sun Aug 05, 2012 7:19 pm Post subject:

Thanks for the responses.

We bought a noise machine from Bed Bath and Beyond. It helps some but remains a far cry from a cure. Note, I don't expect there to be a "cure" for a colicky baby. How much should I expect to be charged for a dog walker? I Googled online and it seems that price greatly varies. We are in the state of Utah. I will be putting an ad online soon.

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